Callie (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
calliope_love) wrote2010-09-10 11:57 pm
calliope_love) wrote2010-09-10 11:57 pm
Entry tags:
005: Crack the Second
Title: Re: Omake 2
Rating: G
Disclaimer: The omake started it. ¬.¬
Summary: I wouldn't be able to cope with Vincent popping up on my balcony, either.
Length: 749. Quick Friday-night crackitude.
When Xerxes Break appeared in Liam’s office on the verge of what appeared to be a full-blown anxiety attack, gibbering something about Sharon’s girly notions and awful pick-up lines and cake and Vincent Nightray, Liam could only stare at him in open-mouthed horror.
”My thoughts exactly,” Break said, catching the expression. “If the drain rat thinks he can just waltz onto the grounds like that what’s to stop him from —”
“You came in through the door,” Liam announced, not having heard a word.
“…What?”
“You came in through the door!” he repeated, pointing at it accusingly.
Break stared at it in shock. Sure enough, it was hanging open, as though daring Break to deny ever having done such a thing. Then he spun back to Liam, eye wide, and said, “You see? I am so upset about this I came in through a door. And I didn’t even realize it. I — oh, hell.” He brought his sleeves to his face and began to hop about in frantic little circles.
“What are you so upset about?”
”Were you not listening?!”
“I was stunned by the door,” Liam muttered, deciding his glasses needed cleaning.
“We were on the balcony and Sharon was making us feed Alice romantic lines and she growled at me and Gil is a moron and then, and then — “ Break leaned over the desk for added emphasis. “ — Vincent Nightray vaults over the balcony railing and gives Gilbert a box and says, ‘I was in the area, so I brought your favorite cake.’”
Liam took a moment to process this. Just to make sure he had everything straight, he asked, “Vincent Nightray brought his brother cake?”
“Yes,” confirmed Break. Then he muttered again, blackly, “I was in the area, so I brought your favorite cake.”
“And this has sent you into one of your fits of paranoia,” Liam said, giving Break a very flat look. The older man had been known to decide out of nowhere that this or that was out to get him from time to time, and his current ramblings looked like more of the same to Liam, despite Vincent’s general aura of skeeze.
Break made a frustrated noise. (Liam was well-accustomed to Break’s noises and was able to translate it to, “I wish to have this person’s head on a silver platter.”) Then he buried his face in his sleeves again and resumed hopping.
“Xerxes,” Liam began, feeling a vague obligation to try to talk some sense into the man despite the horrible failure of every previous attempt at such a thing.
“Whyyyyy does no one understand how serious this is?” Break muttered to himself, or possibly Emily. “The drain rat is not free to come and go as he pleases at Rainsworth. This is unacceptable. It is going to end very badly.”
“Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a little?” asked Liam. “I mean, for all you know, he did just happen to be in the area. With. . .Gilbert’s favorite cake.”
Break made another noise. This one meant, “No, no, his head is too smarmy for the good silver; I shall have to rip all of his limbs off and spit upon the corpse.” Liam decided his glasses still needed cleaning.
“I must talk to Lady Cheryl again and make her see reason,” Break said. “Snipers on the roof specifically to ward off Vincent Nightray is an excellent idea, not a hair-brained notion resulting from my paranoid delusions.” He stomped out the door, slamming it shut as he went. Seconds later, he came back into the office, slammed the door again, and marched across the room.
“I was in the area, so I brought your favorite cake,” he said to Liam in passing. Then he exited through the cabinet.
Liam shook his head and went back to his paperwork.
Break was very grumbly the next time Liam saw him, so apparently his mission had failed. Liam hoped his friend had not taken to prowling the grounds at night; the older man got mean when he wasn’t getting enough sleep. Then he put the incident out of his mind until Vincent sent his servant to kidnap Sharon and she came home recovering from a near-fatal poisoning.
Lady Cheryl put Break in charge of picking out the snipers. There was no living with him after that.
Rating: G
Disclaimer: The omake started it. ¬.¬
Summary: I wouldn't be able to cope with Vincent popping up on my balcony, either.
Length: 749. Quick Friday-night crackitude.
When Xerxes Break appeared in Liam’s office on the verge of what appeared to be a full-blown anxiety attack, gibbering something about Sharon’s girly notions and awful pick-up lines and cake and Vincent Nightray, Liam could only stare at him in open-mouthed horror.
”My thoughts exactly,” Break said, catching the expression. “If the drain rat thinks he can just waltz onto the grounds like that what’s to stop him from —”
“You came in through the door,” Liam announced, not having heard a word.
“…What?”
“You came in through the door!” he repeated, pointing at it accusingly.
Break stared at it in shock. Sure enough, it was hanging open, as though daring Break to deny ever having done such a thing. Then he spun back to Liam, eye wide, and said, “You see? I am so upset about this I came in through a door. And I didn’t even realize it. I — oh, hell.” He brought his sleeves to his face and began to hop about in frantic little circles.
“What are you so upset about?”
”Were you not listening?!”
“I was stunned by the door,” Liam muttered, deciding his glasses needed cleaning.
“We were on the balcony and Sharon was making us feed Alice romantic lines and she growled at me and Gil is a moron and then, and then — “ Break leaned over the desk for added emphasis. “ — Vincent Nightray vaults over the balcony railing and gives Gilbert a box and says, ‘I was in the area, so I brought your favorite cake.’”
Liam took a moment to process this. Just to make sure he had everything straight, he asked, “Vincent Nightray brought his brother cake?”
“Yes,” confirmed Break. Then he muttered again, blackly, “I was in the area, so I brought your favorite cake.”
“And this has sent you into one of your fits of paranoia,” Liam said, giving Break a very flat look. The older man had been known to decide out of nowhere that this or that was out to get him from time to time, and his current ramblings looked like more of the same to Liam, despite Vincent’s general aura of skeeze.
Break made a frustrated noise. (Liam was well-accustomed to Break’s noises and was able to translate it to, “I wish to have this person’s head on a silver platter.”) Then he buried his face in his sleeves again and resumed hopping.
“Xerxes,” Liam began, feeling a vague obligation to try to talk some sense into the man despite the horrible failure of every previous attempt at such a thing.
“Whyyyyy does no one understand how serious this is?” Break muttered to himself, or possibly Emily. “The drain rat is not free to come and go as he pleases at Rainsworth. This is unacceptable. It is going to end very badly.”
“Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a little?” asked Liam. “I mean, for all you know, he did just happen to be in the area. With. . .Gilbert’s favorite cake.”
Break made another noise. This one meant, “No, no, his head is too smarmy for the good silver; I shall have to rip all of his limbs off and spit upon the corpse.” Liam decided his glasses still needed cleaning.
“I must talk to Lady Cheryl again and make her see reason,” Break said. “Snipers on the roof specifically to ward off Vincent Nightray is an excellent idea, not a hair-brained notion resulting from my paranoid delusions.” He stomped out the door, slamming it shut as he went. Seconds later, he came back into the office, slammed the door again, and marched across the room.
“I was in the area, so I brought your favorite cake,” he said to Liam in passing. Then he exited through the cabinet.
Liam shook his head and went back to his paperwork.
Break was very grumbly the next time Liam saw him, so apparently his mission had failed. Liam hoped his friend had not taken to prowling the grounds at night; the older man got mean when he wasn’t getting enough sleep. Then he put the incident out of his mind until Vincent sent his servant to kidnap Sharon and she came home recovering from a near-fatal poisoning.
Lady Cheryl put Break in charge of picking out the snipers. There was no living with him after that.
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I LOVE YOU/THIS.
<33333333333333333333333333333333
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... there's something even creepier about Vincent showing up in broad daylight with cake than meeting him in a dark, creaky house would be.
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